Impermanent Sands
by Kane's Light
Summary: OneShot. Sora guessed it was supposed to be this way with Riku and Kairi something of a couple, however, Sora's writings left in the sand say otherwise. RxS


**Summary**: One-Shot. Sora guessed it was supposed to be this way with Riku and Kairi supposedly a couple, however, his writings left in the sand say otherwise. RxS

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters and am merely borrowing them.

**A/N**: Be for warned this is a Riku/Sora fic, meaning that there will be maleXmale coupling. There are also some hints at het with Riku/Kairi but it depends on the perspective. Please review, constructive criticism is always welcome.

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Impermanent Sands

By: Kane's Light

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He guessed it was supposed to be this way, with the sun warming his back and sand scratching at his feet. Riku and Kairi were playing in the ocean together, splashing one another, laughing together, without him. Neither one seemed to care that the sun was setting, that school would be starting in the next few weeks, that he was the one who showed them this place originally. He had discovered it and he had shared; now they often came here and he was left to his own devices. And yet, Sora guessed that it was supposed to be this way.

He frowned at the sudden spill of laughter that came from Kairi's pixie like mouth. She was too dainty for her own good, all slender limbs and open heart. Sora guessed that she had a nice figure, definitely not large, but not too small; then again he didn't really know much about girls and he liked it that way. Riku, however, liked girls a lot and knew just about everything there was to know about women. Sora didn't mind this, but he never went out of his way to ask Riku about them. Some things are just easier to understand when left alone.

Sora sighed and resumed writing in the sand. His hair was being cast about and would often drift into his face as he carved words into the giving sand. His eyes were slit in concentration as he finished yet another message. He took his stick that fit perfectly into his small hand, and drew a box around his message. It was finished and was the last one of the day.

Riku lifted Kairi and they both fell backwards into the ocean. Sora turned around and watched the incoming tide gently lap away at his first message about half way down the beach.

"I wish you cared as much as you said you did," he whispered the words that soon began to blur. He closed his eyes and hoped the aching in his heart was some sort of disease. He wasn't any good with emotional matters.

The ocean was doing its job and Sora stood up to retrace his words up higher. He wanted them to exist just a little bit longer. It also gave him something to do, something he desperately wanted to take his mind off of the laughing friends in the water. He no longer could consider them his.

The air smelled of fruit and cleanliness, but tasted of salt and stale fish. Sora liked that about the ocean; the sound of the waves crashing against rocks and the shore, the smells of new beginnings and grand endings, the taste of fragrant victory and bitter defeat, but he hated it for the same reasons.

He smiled as he retraced his first sentence up higher, where he knew the high tide would get it, out of reach of the greedy ocean's grasp. He continued to do this to each saying, smiling slightly and listening to the giggles and gasps of Kairi as she attempted to chase down Riku.

His second saying was done and he noticed his only e looked a little crooked and the tail of his y extended slightly too far down. He rubbed out the letters and tried again, they looked much better this time.

"I wish I could hate you, but I can't," the words tasted just as bitter spoken as thought.

A loud splash and Sora looked over just in time to find Kairi and Riku resurfacing with gasps of shock and pleasure. They only had eyes for each other and it was times like this that he wanted to hate them both, but couldn't. Instead he hated the objects around them. The crying gulls as they looked for a sweet morsel dropped by some busy soul, the demanding ocean that pushed and pulled everything around it into the shape and form it wanted that object to be, all these things he hated and so much more, but most of all Kairi for suggesting that her and Riku continue their stroll when Sora was being forced to go home. No, he couldn't hate them both, but he could hate Kairi.

'I ate the paopu, you know.' This one he chose not to speak. He wrote it a little different from the others; this one was more spaced out and written in all capitals. He hoped the words spoke for themselves this way.

Sora always held that memory close to his heart. Kairi was staying behind and Sora was on his way home when Riku decided that he was going to leave too. They both crossed paths, in perfect view of Kairi, when Riku suddenly tossed a paopu at him. There was a piece missing from the side and Riku saluted as he placed the piece of fruit he had in his mouth and chewed lazily while turning around and heading home. Sora had raced home and sat in his room for a while before deciding to eat the fruit as well. He had heard the legends of destinies being intertwined by sharing the fruit and he imagined that the warm feeling spreading from his stomach all through his body was his soul searching and combining with Riku's.

The next day Riku had asked if Sora had eaten the fruit. He didn't answer but smiled and motioned towards where Kairi was making her way down to meet them. Sora went home that night and tried not to cry as he replayed thoughts of Kairi and Riku walking away from him, arm in arm, down the beach.

It wasn't supposed to bother him that his friends were getting together, that they were falling in love. Everyone on the island was talking about it, how Kairi and Riku were so _cute_ together, that they'd make the most _adorable_ and _gorgeous _children. Sora decided the moment he heard this that he would never use those words to describe his children or lover.

By this time he was back to his last set of written words and by now all the older writings had been washed away by the ocean. There was no indication that there was ever anything there, and Sora liked that about the sand.

When he wrote in the sand he always relished the thought that everything he was writing would be disappearing soon. It wasn't like carving the name of his crush into a tree with a heart incasing both of their names for the entire world to see. It was something so much more private. His messages could only be viewed by those he wanted and if someone where to chance up on them he could easily erase any evidence that anything significant was present in the first place. Writing in the sand was so personal, so delicate, and so impermanent. It held so much meaning and that symbolism could be swept away by the blowing of the wind or the crashing of the tide. It didn't matter, because either way it was going to disappear and either way no one would ever be wiser, and Sora liked it this way.

He finished his message and began to draw a box around it when he decided to add one more. He glanced up to see Riku helping Kairi stand in the shallow waters and moved further down from them.

"I've loved you since the moment you said goodbye to me and hello to her." Sora murmured the words as he wrote them out and curled each and every y. It looked a little girly but at the same time it was written so shakily it was obvious no girl had written it.

The tide was just starting to lick away at his first creation and he smiled as the waters shied away from the words. The sun was warm on his back, and the sand was scratching against his feet. It was quiet and Riku and Kairi had disappeared, together, for the time being. He guessed that it was supposed to be this way but couldn't bring himself to be happy about it.

He stood up slowly from his crouching position and stretched his cramped legs. He had been sitting like that for too long and grimaced as the feeling began to return to them with little pinpricks of pain and aches in his knees. He felt old at that moment but couldn't bring himself to care. It didn't matter because he reminded himself it was supposed to be this way.

He began to make his way home and briefly considered trying to find Riku and Kairi to that them know that he was leaving, however, he decided against it. They wouldn't care any way and Sora wasn't sure he'd be able to pick up all the shards of his heart at seeing them with their tongues down each other's throat. He always hated getting cuts.

Sora disappeared down the beach and Riku pulled away from Kairi. She pouted slightly, her full lips begging to be kissed, but Riku was deaf to her pleas. He caught a final glimpse of Sora before going to read what the other boy had written. He'd been doing this for several weeks, since he had figured out what the other boy was up to. His messages always bothered him for reasons he could not explain. Perhaps it was the fact that each message seemed to be written to Kairi.

Riku glanced over at her and watched for a moment as she ran his small hands through her cherry colored hair. He knew from experience that it was soft as silk, the same texture as Sora's.

He read each message and then covered it up to keep Kairi's eyes from it. He figured that if Sora wanted the girl to see it he'd have written her a letter or at the very least something more permanent than sand. It wasn't until he got to the one about the paopu that he even thought for a second Sora wasn't writing to Kairi.

"I ate the paopu, you know," Riku whispered the words but Kairi appeared to have heard and cocked her head cutely in his direction.

"What's that, Riku?" she walked closer to him and linked her arm with his once again.

"Nothing, nothing at all," he unlinked their arms and said apologetically, "sorry Kai but I gotta go. See you around sometime, k?" He waved at her and ran off in the direction Sora had gone leaving her with a bewildered look on her face and her right hand lifted in some sort of half wave that Riku never saw.

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The night was warm and the breeze welcome against his face. Sora was sitting on his front porch watching the occasional bird flitter through the sky or person walk briskly past his house. It was a nice night he decided and he was content to be alone, a feeling he wasn't used to. He always hated to be alone, but tonight, it was different.

"So you did eat it after all?" Riku's voice was gentle and deep. It startled Sora but he made sure to keep calm and emotionless on the outside. On the inside his heart was beating so fast he was sure it would explode from sheer anxiety.

"Eat what?"

"The paopu."

"Oh that"

A pause.

"Yeah that."

"I never said I didn't"

"Never said you did either."

"Guess not."

Another silence ensued and Sora glanced around frantically. He didn't want to meet Riku's surely disgusted eyes, he didn't want to see his perfect silver hair shining in the moonlight, he didn't want to see his best friend remembering him for the first time in several weeks, he didn't want to be here at all.

"Where's Kairi?" Sora asked needing to break the thick silence.

"Still at the beach I guess." He was being so nonchalant. Sora envied his talent.

"Oh."

"You know Sora I've been reading your messages for some time now," he nodded in the general direction of the beach and although they could not see it from here Sora knew what he was talking about. His heart beat increased and he knew he was going to just die any second.

"You have?"

"Yeah and you know, I thought for the longest time they were for Kairi. You were always watching her, even when we were kids." He gave a humorless chuckle and Sora wanted to cry for everything that was going wrong. He wished he hadn't rewritten his words up higher.

"You should've said something, I thought you hated me." Sora glanced over at Riku as he nearly whispered the last words.

"I could never hate you, Riku," his words were spoken softly but firmly and he was insanely proud that his voice hadn't cracked.

"I know, I read that one too." They both laughed quietly, Sora's nervous and shaking and Riku's calm and soothing.

"So?"

"Yeah?"

"Umm…"

"Awkward."

"Kinda."

"Sora listen, I…" Sora looked over at Riku for the first time since their conversation had begun. He looked tired and was pushing a small pebble around with his foot. He was still in his solid black swim trucks and was dripping water onto the pavement and portions of grass that happened to be near. He looked nervous and that thought made Sora feel slightly better, "I'm sorry for, you know, and well…sorry, ok?"

"Apology accepted, though you should really work on your techniques," Sora grinned up at the older boy. Riku grinned back it was like they were never fighting at all. He offered Sora a hand and he took it. They both stood up with matching grins and watched themselves watching each other. It was comfortable for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"I guess I'd better go then," Sora took a step back as Riku announced his departure. He turned to go and made it half way up Sora's driveway before turning around and smiling back at the younger boy, "oh and Sora…I've never told you goodbye before and I don't plan on it anytime soon." He winked and turned around quickly. He walked home to the sound of Sora's laughter ringing in his ears.

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He guessed it was supposed to be this way, with the sun warming his back and sand scratching at his feet. Riku was splashing about in the water and calling for him to hurry up and join him since the water was "freezing". They were both laughing and Kairi was no where to be found since both Riku and Sora had plans today and would be unable to hang around.

The rumors were put to rest and Riku was not going to be 'having' any _adorable _or _gorgeous _children, however, they were still a _cute _couple much to Sora's dismay. His heart still ached but now he knew that it wasn't a disease and he was slightly better with emotional problems. Riku, however, was still horrible in that department.

His hair would still flash in and out of his line of vision as he wrote and he still had his stick that fit perfectly into his hand. He finished his sentence and stepped back to watch the scene around him.

Riku was pouting and motioning him to join. The tide was coming in and lapping at the sands once again. He watched his message slowly disappear and then rewrote it higher before joining Riku.

He was right, the water was freezing.

"What did you write this time?" Riku smirked as the other finally waded in waist deep to stand next to him.

"You'll find out later." Sora leaned up and gave Riku a chaste kiss on the lips, "I promise."

The wind started to blow once more and sand began to blur Sora's message. It didn't particularly matter though, because if Sora had wanted anyone to read it, he would have written it on something more permanent than sand.

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Please review. I need reviews like Sora needs Riku.


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